threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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