Don't you send me to vm
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
