She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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