omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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