Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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