make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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