i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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