Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
