We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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