just come out here and I will go home with you...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
