I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
