I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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