I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I could fuck to npr.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
