Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
