am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
