You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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