i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
