CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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