Princesses don't give blow jobs
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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