I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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