we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
