he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
