I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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