when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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