maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize