So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
