one might say we're banned from that church
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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