my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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