Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
