i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
