Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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