I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
