Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
