i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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