I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
oh god the rape fog is back!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
