Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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