I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
