So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
