This girl is more easily done than said...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
