I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
