Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
