dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
