she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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