I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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