Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
