He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
