i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
