You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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