It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
