accomplished twins. life is a go
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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