you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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