He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
