Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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