were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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