They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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