The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
