YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ttyl tear gas
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
