how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
