9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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