i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
