What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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