The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
