imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
operation have a gay friend backfired
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
