I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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