if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
