I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
