There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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