Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
