I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize