I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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